At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
The air was thick with penises
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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