I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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