apparently the secret to your success is patron
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
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