If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
