My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
