I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
My liver just broke up with me...
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
