Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
You're completely useless in the revolution.
That's intense
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
