I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I wanna passion pit in your ass
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
