Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
