Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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