Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
