dude i'm inner monologue high
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
