I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
