I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
