the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
