So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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