there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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