She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
