I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
