I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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