i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
