i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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