oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
