You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i permit you to call me
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
