Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
