Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
