I wanna bring you to show and tell
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
