There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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