I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
