It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
