i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
