No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
