you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
