do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
