i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
