My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
