Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
