what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
