i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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