I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize