I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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