Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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