she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
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