Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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