i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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