i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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