Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
