her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I just forgot I was standing up.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
