apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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