Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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